One Shining Moment

I am a Mom. (If you didn't already know that, well welcome to the 90's. Or 2012. Whatevs.)
I have many, many moments every day that I am proud of my daughter, and I am so overwhelmed by how grateful I am that she is healthy and growing. She is the most amazing thing I have ever seen and I cannot believe that she grew inside of me.

In the spirit of honesty, though, I am going to admit that I was not excited when I found out that I was pregnant. Don't get me wrong, a baby is always a blessing, but under the circumstances being pregnant was not something I had anticipated. Add to that the fact that I have never once in my life had a desire to birth a child. I love kids, I love babies, but I heard about all the things that can (and do) happen to your body when you are pregnant and I never, ever wanted to be pregnant or give birth. So part of my lack of excitment was due to the fact that I was terrified of the entire pregnancy.

I hated being pregnant. Hondo and Holly can probably tell you multiple times where pregnancy and me did not agree with each other. I had a relatively easy pregnancy as far as sickness or complications go, but that does not change the fact that I hated it. Despised. Loathed.

I had a horrible labor. I will not share the details because I know lots of people who are pregnant and the last thing those women need to hear is a horror story of things that can go wrong. (Why do people insist on sharing the scariest possible details with every pregnant woman they see? Do they not realize how scary the process is without having to hear about the awful possibilities?)

My proudest moment was the moment I survived. Giving birth, I mean. It was just as hard and scary as I had imagined, but I did it and I didn't freak out or break. I sobbed when they put her on my chest (omg I'm getting emotional typing this) and much of that was awe and relief that we both, me and my Monroe, made it.




Monroe, about 2 months





Monroe just this past weekend, 10 1/2 months