For me lately though, it's when people ask me "How are you?" and they are people who I know for a fact genuinely care about how I am that I find myself at a loss with what to say. I mean, I am good. I'm fine. I'm good, maybe not great. But I'm good. Do you believe me yet?
I'm not really struggling other than with myself. I just feel a bit purposeless. I've had this feeling before and it goes away usually but it's kind of lingering lately. I love spending time with my kids, being home is a huge blessing and I'm grateful that I am able to take care of them myself. And yet...
When a person I love asks me how I'm doing, I want to be able to respond and tell them about me. About what is happening in my life. The problem is, there isn't a lot going on in my life. Most of the time, my life is what is happening to my kids' lives. Which is probably true of a lot of parents who stay home with their kids during the day.
It drives me nuts when I feel like people only care about me because of my children. I would like for them to care about my kids, don't get me wrong, but I would also like them to care about me. ME. Lisa. One of the biggest places I experience this is social media. If I post a picture of my kids, I generally get about twice as many responses as I do if I just say something about myself. So I don't post on social media that much because, frankly, I feel like nobody cares.
So the question is, how am I?
Well, I wish I had more to do. Maybe a job would be good, although I kind of hate the idea of just working for working's sake. I would love to do something that makes me feel like I am making a contribution to the world.
My kids do need me. But they need me less and less as they grow. Which is awesome and sad at the same time.
It's okay. I really don't have any room to complain. My life really is good. Enough about me. How are you?
