Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Weird Things I Do When I'm Alone

Sometimes I wonder if when I'm alone, that is the real me, if that's the person that I should be all the time because when I'm alone no one is judging me but me.

But really, I think I'm a weirdo when I'm alone and I'm not sure the world is ready for all that.

Some (weird) things that I do when I'm alone:

1. I never close the door when I use the bathroom. I think this has to do with self-preservation, like if someone broke in to my house while I was peeing I'd somehow be better prepared for it if the door is open. Also, then there are no surprises when I open the door. I can see/hear it coming.

2. Try on old clothes to see if they fit/gauge how soon they will fit. The answer to this seems to always be "never" but I'm still holding out for a miracle.

3. Cry. Not always. Not even often. But I'd rather be alone to cry about crappy days or stress than drag someone else down with me.

4. Eat Ramen noodles. I love Ramen still but I feel guilty eating it as a meal because I know how bad it is for me, so I eat it when no one else is around. Then I pretend (to myself, because there's no one there to judge me anyway) that I didn't. 

5. Take naps

6. Clean. It is so much easier to do when no one is there to distract/mess up what I just cleaned.

7. Have really intense arguments with people who I may or may not be holding slight grudges against. And by arguments I really mean one-sided conversations where my rhetorical powers are so great that the opposing party is rendered speechless except maybe to say, "You're right..."

I am realizing that I'm not a weird as I thought I was, or as weird as I once was. I must have mellowed in my old age. Or gotten boring. 

1 comment:

  1. I typed a whole long comment, and the lost it, but I loved this post! I love Ramen, and every time I eat it I think of you because you are the one who introduced me to cooking the Ramen, draining it, adding butter, and then adding the seasoning. And now.. that how I make it. But in my head I always wonder why it is "Oriental" flavor. When I think of Oriental, I do not think of the flavor combo in that package.. at all.
    Oh. and I pee with the door open too.

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