To Every ACTION There is an Equal and Opposite REACTION

Since I am no longer obliged to write about things chosen for me by a blog challenge, I will now write whatever the heck I want. 


This is what I am feeling like right now.


Have you seen the video of Kristen Bell when she meets a sloth? If you haven't, you can watch it here, because it is hilarious.

This poor girl and I suffer from the same thing, in that neither of us can control the depth of our reactions.

(Hers might be a little bit worse than mine. Possibly)


I suck at reacting. I tell this to my husband often to try and dissuade him from surprising me with anything. EVER. I hate surprises. Because I never react appropriately.


Here's how my levels go.


Level 1: I get a surprise and I was expecting it/knew about it/didn't really want it. I try to act like I was genuinely surprised and that I wanted it, but I'm not fooling anyone. My face is like an open book, and this one will leave the giver with a fake grin and hurt feelings because they think I didn't like their surprise. (Sometimes I didn't. I'm not the only person in the world who has received something they didn't really want.) (I'm trying really hard to justify myself here.)


Level 2: This is the rarest of the rare...I react normally. Like any other sane person would react, I show moderate excitement and genuine gratitude to whomever is bestowing a surprise on me.


Level 3: This is the reaction I have most often, and I find it quite humiliating. Allow me to demonstrate with an anecdote.


Hondo and I are dating. I am at work, but I am having a bit of an off day. I was feeling rather un-pretty, which can really ruin a girl's day. He, being the charming and caring man that he is, sends me flowers at work with a card that reads, "Daay-uuummm, you look good." I am called to the front desk because I have a "delivery." I casually walk up and ask what's up. They point to the flowers. I immediately spring tears (I don't even know who the flowers are from yet, mind you) and say, "These are for me? From who?" I look at the card and begin shaking.


Yes, that's right. Literally shaking, as if I have been outside in the cold for hours. I try to cover it by grabbing the vase and saying, "Oh, that's so nice," but I can't fool my friends and one says, "Are you shaking?", compounding my embarrassment by pointing out such a ridiculous over-reaction.


Seriously. Who shakes because they got flowers? FLOWERS! It wasn't like he sent me John Mayer in a cake.


There have been various instances in my life where an actual person surprising me with their presence has led to an uncanny ability to teleport across rooms and into that person's arms. Others in my path in these instances may or may not have been knocked to the ground, even the sick and the elderly. 


My reactions could be generally classified as "over-reactions." And even though everyone else may not care, or even think it's cute (these would not be the people laying prostrate on the floor), I care. I really find it embarrassing. And annoying.


It's hard being me.