Grandpa, Tell Me 'Bout the Good Old Days

Today I'm sad.

When I was a sophomore in college I decided to be a vegetarian. I had a quite traumatic experience the summer before, where I was driving to my parents new home with Stef and I hit and I think killed a deer. It was awful and an experience I would wish on no one. I crie and cried and the car I was driving was in the shop for a month because there was so much damage. It was a blessing that Stef and I weren't hurt other than emotionally.

So anyway, vegetarians (according to the PETA website at the time) save 90 animals lives by abstaining from meat products for 1 year. I decided that to give what little restitution I could for the deer's life I had taken, I wouldn't eat meat for at least 1 year (though I ended up going for 2.)

I was fine with not eating meat in general and I've always been a bit picky about the meat I eat anyway so it wasn't a difficult transition for me to make. But I was nervous about telling my family, particularly my Grandpa on my mom's side. Grandpa has always been an avid hunter. He hunted for sport, but also provided meat for his family and my family growing up, often the only meat we had. My Dad and Uncle Dan also hunted a lot, though my Dad hasn't gone for several years. I was expecting my family and Grandpa in particular to make fun of me, maybe make some comments about my choice etc. I was nervous about feeling judged or anyone else thinking that I was judging them for their choices. So I called my mom  and said something dramatic like, "I need to tell you something." And my mom literally said, "You're a vegetarian."

Moms just know, man.

And I'm like yeah uh how'd you know and she's just smart like that I guess. I told her that I was scared to tell Grandpa and she was like I'll take care of it. (Once again, Mom FTW).  This was just a few days before we were heading home for Early Christmas, which is a Gray family tradition we did every year since I was a kid with my Mom's side of the family. Holly and I got to the house late and it was dark and they were all waiting to have dinner with us when we walked in. And my amazing Grandpa took my hand and led me into the kitchen to proudly show me what he picked up for me in the way down from the store.

It was a vegetarian lasagna.

And I'm the luckiest person on earth because even though it wasn't something he necessarily believed in or agreed with my Grandpa loved me and he wanted to make sure I would have something to eat for dinner.

Grandpa passed away this week and even though I got to know him for 29 years it wasn't long enough. I know that I have been so, so blessed to actually know Doug Gray, not on a superficial level but really got to know him and have memories of times where he did things just for me and took care of me and my family and I'm not ready to let go of that relationship. I have so many stories about my Grandpa that I could tell. He could make me mad and make me laugh all at the same time. He told off-color jokes and never laughed harder than when he made my Grandma uncomfortable. They have always been a unit to me. I'm starting to ramble so I'll close and just say I love you Grandpa, and I already miss you a lot.

My Dream Home

When it comes to things like home design and baby names, I am surprised how much I've discovered that I am a product of my environment. Hondo and I have been house hunting for like a year, seriously for the last 4 months. And our tastes each reflect where we grew up! Hondo comes from Las Vegas, and he loves desert style home, Spanish or Mexican looking Adobe ones. And I love cabins! Mountain girl through and through.

I've come to believe that there is no such thing as a perfect house, at least nowhere near my price range. The house we are buying has a lot of elements that we love, like a big kitchen with double ovens, a large deck in a big backyard, wood floors, big windows...I am excited to make the house into what we want though. Most updates will be cosmetic, with maybe one larger renovation down the road. 

But my dream house is probably a giant cabin in the mountains, big enough for my whole family to stay. Mountain views and forest quiet are my happy place. Having a cabin somewhere is a legit goal of mine. We found several during our home search and I honestly was happy to forego purchasing an actual home and just spend all our money on a vacation home. 

We'll save that for later though.

All the Places I've Lived (and my fav so far)

This post comes at an interesting time for me, as we are in the process of buying our first house. A house for the Guzman/Mahan family. So I'm about to move! My favorite thing. (Heavy sarcasm implied)

I grew up in a small house in Broomfield, which I never thought of as that small but as an adult have realized how tiny that house was. I lived there my entire life until I left for college, which is rare for most people and especially renters. I loved the house for the home and family it was, and I visit it often in my dreams. 

Freshman year at BYU, I moved in to the dorms with 5 other girls. I went to school full-time and worked full-time, a necessity for me all through college. The dorms were fun but I'd never go back.

My first summer back in Broomfield after college was the summer my parents moved to Montrose. That summer Jen, Stef, Holly, and I lived in that tiny house while all working for the city of Broomfield. We had a blast and I credit this time for allowing me to get to know several of my siblings significant others really well, which I appreciated even more as they married. 

Sophomore year was spent in a crappy apartment south of campus with 3 of the same roommates, which was good and bad. Some epic roommate fights happened in that apartment. Drama for real.

Summer was again in the Broomfield house, this time just Jen and I. Good times were had by all.

Junior year Holly and I decided to live together again in a tiny crappy house (we nicknamed "The Peach House") with some unknown roommates who were nice but odd. We actively avoided going home and I would often just sit outside in my car. That's how bad it was.

Summer lead me back to Broomfield with nowhere to live, and I spent the first few weeks crashing on couches and living out of my car until my amazing boss Dawn and her husband Paul offered me their spare room. I actually loved living with them, they were amazing and nice to me and let me use their DVR and pool all summer. I got real good at parallel parking in that place. The summer was hard because Jen and I were both suffering from broken hearts, but we rallied for each other and got through it.

Senior year I moved in with the newly married Glems. Holly got me a job down the street from the apartment at Pinnacle Security, which carried over for several years. The newlyweds were fun to live with, plus Jeff came halfway through and we became close in a brother/sister who fight all the time kind of way. 

My last summer in Broomfield was next, living in Jen's vacant town home with my new puppy Viva. It was a good summer, full of dumb decisions of thankfully no lasting effect. 

My return to Orem put me back on another couch, jobless. Luckily I got rehired at my old job and found an apartment in the same complex as Holly. This was the year Eric had cancer, so I was grateful I ended up close by to help Holly in any way I could. January of 2010 was when I met Hondo and we started dating later that year. 

I lived with Holly and Eric one more time before getting married in Feb 2011, and Hondo and I moved into the condo we are still in 2 weeks later. 5.5 years in one place after all that bouncing around has been nice, but we are very ready and excited for our new house!

My fav living place is for sure Broomfield. But my favorite home is this new one I'm building with my own family. I'm so excited for my girls to have a house and a yard. I will miss this condo for the memories made, but I am ready to move.

Favorite Time Wasters

Day 2 of our Lucky 3 challenge is something that I am a pro at. Wasting time. For me wasting time typically = procrastinating. Case in point: this is day 2 of our blog challenge and it was supposed to be written on June 18th and here I am writing on July 1. Girls Camp is my excuse!

I waste time in typically ways, Facebook, Instagram, my new favorite Snapchat. I don't consider reading to be a waste of time and I do that a lot, but sometimes it is in the name of procrastination.

Sometimes I fall into a Dr. Pimple Popper YouTube hole, which I know is so gross but I can't look away. I don't watch many youtube videos though so I can hardly claim that.

I waste time in the morning mostly, laying in bed as long as possible or going back to bed. I'm just not a morning person and my bed is really comfy.

I think having kids helps/hinders with getting anything done. Helps because if I am not doing laundry or cleaning or packing for a trip because I'm playing or chatting with my girls, I don't count it as time wasted. But also I can procrastinate because they need me all day long. Pros and cons I guess.

Someone I Admire

I'm overthinking this already and it's only day 1 of what is supposed to be a fun blog challenge with my family. I think I just am having a hard time pinning down one person who I admire most, because I admire so many that to focus on one is difficult. Instead, I am focusing on a trait that I admire in many people I know, and that is to show up.

I (along with most of my sisters) am a classic loyal friend, almost to a fault. I have been hurt before by expecting the same loyalty from people who are not loyal in the same way, or not in ways I think to expect. But this is one thing that if you do it, we'll be friends for life. 

I don't know when showing up for your friends became harder...maybe after college when we all stopped living together? After high school? Who can say for sure, but to me the most basic aspect of friendship is to show up.

 Has it been months since you've spoken? Show up anyway. There is not a baby or bridal shower on earth, no birthday party or wedding, no BBQ or coffee date that is not going to be worth it. (And I hate bridal and baby showers!) 

It took me a long time to learn this, and I'm not perfect at it. I can be flaky. But seriously, the thing I find consistently in friends and family that I admire is that they show up. For anything and everything. Til death do us part.

Thanks, friends, who taught me this lesson and who have showed up in my life.

San Diego

I'm blogging again!!! Crazy I know. 

To get right to it, Hondo and I have not taken a vacation vacation in 2 years. The last trip we went on was to Ireland in 2014. We have been working hard to save money and pay off debt so we can buy a house, and vacations were not a priority. 

Fast forward to about a month ago and Hondo in particular was going a bit crazy. Doing the same thing every day with no breaks and nothing to look forward to becomes wearing. We had talked about how fun it would be to take a family vacation, since we've never gone anywhere but to visit family with the girls. Hondo was so stir crazy that he started planning trips that were way too expensive and repeatedly saying "I don't care how much it costs." I had to step in and purchase our trip before he went way overboard.

San Diego had been discussed by us before, and in searching for tickets I found a decent semi-last minute deal on Delta. I booked our flights, found a cute little Airbnb close to the beach, and off we went.

Aside from RUDE people on our flight there, the girls did fabulously and we  got to CA in no time. Our house was only about 15 minutes from the airport, in Ocean Beach. The location was even more perfect than we had realized. Being blocks away from the beach also means blocks away from shops and restaurants. So once we dropped our stuff off we walked down the road to a Cuban bakery called Azucar. Hondo grew up eating Cuban food (his grandfather was Cuban) and I quickly fell in love with it once I tried it. There aren't any Cuban restaurants in Utah so we were excited to find one so close by. We got Cuban sandwiches (obviously the best) and tried the papa rellamas (if you have the means, eat these ASAP!) plus a few of the desserts. IT WAS SO GOOD!!! I wanted to go back while we were there but sadly there were to many other good places to try.

After eating lunch we headed to the ocean. I was so excited for the girls to see it for the first time. I didn't see the ocean until I was 17 (which was coincidentally also in San Diego) so I was happy to give them the same experience early on. Plus I love the beach! 

The temperature outside was about 64 and cloudy, so you can imagine how freezing the water was. Mara is not really a water fan, so once she felt the cold on her toes she turned around and ran in the other direction as fast as she could. Mo was much more excited, and she played in the water the whole time we were there. Her squeals of delight were exactly what we wanted to hear. Hondo and I both instantly felt relaxed and refreshed. There's just something about the ocean.

Since it was so cold, we only stayed for about an hour before heading back to the house. For dinner we kept it simple and just ordered pizza. Since we had a full kitchen Hondo also went to a local store and bought tons of fruit, which we successfully ate over the course of our stay. 

Sunday morning we got ready and walked to a restaurant called Old Town. It  was a diner style place that only serves breakfast. We liked it. Then we decided to head to the San Diego Zoo. It was still kind of cold so we bought the girls some souvenir hoodies from the gift shop that they wore all day. We rented a double stroller, too, which I don't think we would've lasted without it. The zoo is so huge that even though we walked around for 3 hours I didn't feel like we saw that many animals. We did wait in line to see the pandas which I thought was really cool. The girls had fun but were tired and cranky so after eating some awful zoo food we left. Maybe they'll enjoy it more when they're older?

We headed to the beach again as soon as we got home. Once again Mo played and played in the sand and water while Mara sat wrapped in her beach towel and looked for seashells. Kids are funny. 

Dinner was Jack-in-the-Box, my favorite and also not available in Utah. The place we stayed was an adorable 2 bedroom 1 bathroom house, and the  girls loved it. They shared a bed in one of the rooms and felt very at home. They play so well together, we're very blessed. 

Monday we didn't have any specific plans for the day so we headed to breakfast at Hash House A Go Go, which we've had before in Vegas and enjoyed. We also tried to go to a place called Snooze which was just up the road, but the wait was over an hour there. Our CO friends have probably heard of it or been there in Denver or Boulder--apparently it is a super popular place to brunch! 

After breakfast we spent some time just relaxing and reading at the house. It was so nice to just hang out and have no stress or agendas. The weather that afternoon was supposed to clear up a bit finally, so we waited until the afternoon to head to the beach again. At this point the girls were pretty tired so we didn't stay as long, but the sun did come out and we got to soak it in. 

Dinner that night was within walking distance again, a Thai food place that was delicious. After dinner we walked down to watch the sunset. It was cold so we didn't stay long but it was beautiful.

I mentioned Snooze earlier because on our way to the airport we decided to try to go there again Tuesday morning and I'm glad we did. The host remembered us, and he was excited for us to try the food so he sent a free blueberry lemon pancake to our table to try. It was so good! If you go, totally order that one. It's worth it! We appreciated the gesture for sure, plus the other food we ordered was great. 

Our flight home was quick and easy, both of the girls fell asleep and stayed that way. We were glad to be home after a short but perfect trip. 

PS I wanted to title this post "A Whale's Vagina" but since my parents are like the only people who read my blog and they probably wouldn't remember the Anchorman reference, I didn't. 

Summer is coming...

Winter was rough. I generally don't mind the snow or cold, but with young kids it's hard to be cooped up in the house all day long for months at a time. There are only so many times you can eat at McDonald's (because they have an indoor playground) before you start to lose it a little bit. 

I'm so ready for summer. It's my favorite season, always has been probably always will be. Even though this spring has been a lot more rainy than it has in past years, I'm grateful for even the little sun and warmth we've had.  

This last week was a good one and I feel like documenting it. Saturday was a busy day for us because the girls had their dance recital. It was Monroe's 4th performance, and Mara's 1st. They both we so amazing! It fills me with so many emotions to watch them dance and love it! They each got to perform in a tap number and a ballet number. If I can get part of the videos to work I will but if not let me assure you, they were incredible and adorable. Mara can shake her booty like nobody's business and Mo is becoming braver each time, moving through the dances flawlessly (for a 4-year/old.) Seriously the best.

My mom and Kelli and Holly came up for the recital, which was so great. It's wonderful to have a group of people who also obsess over how amazing my children are. Hondo's mom and sister Jenny and brother Miguel were also able to come. My girls had quite the cheering section.

Time with family is always well spent. Kelli stayed with us Saturday night, my mom stayed with Holly, and we all stayed up much later than normal talking and laughing. My mom gets somewhat honest and fierce when she's tired and Kelli definitely gets punchy so we had a lot to laugh about. I never laugh so much as when I'm with my sisters.

Sunday Mom had to go home, but Kelli was able to stay because her summer has started. So I had a friend to play with the girls and me this week! We went to the movies, ate lots of Mexican food, went swimming at the Provo rec, stayed up late, went for walks...it was fabulous. I definitely needed the long weekend. 

Kelli had to leave yesterday afternoon (LAME) but Holly and I were gifted tickets to see The Lumineers in SLC last night by our husbands and it was awesome. I've never been to the Red Butte Garden venue and it is small but gorgeous. The view is stunning. Before the show (and even during) Holly and I had some fun trying to get at least one decent picture of the two of us. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. The concert itself was everything you'd want, with great musicians who played all the songs we wanted to hear.

This is my "creepy guy photo-bombing your attempt at a selfie" impression.

This is Holly's "I'm being attacked by this thing called a 'flash' that I've apparently never seen before ever" face.

Monroe also had her Preschool graduation last night. She starts Kindergarten in August! Can you believe it?? She loved her preschool and I know she's going to love elementary school. She's so smart and loves making friends, it's going to be so fun to watch her grow this next year. I'm already so proud of who she is! 

This weekend we are going on our first ever family vacation to San Diego. I'm nervous and excited, this trip is long overdue and we all can use the break from the norm. June will be a busy month for us too! It's bound to be good though!

In case you ever feel like watching a movie with a 4-year-old

My advice? Expect to answer a lot of questions. A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

Like today my girls wanted to watch Sleeping Beauty. This is a list of all the things Mo asked/said in the first half of the movie.

Where are they walking?

Are they walking to the Princess Baby Aurora?

Everybody's there!

We only have one Sleeping Beauty.

Mom, what are those green things falling down to her?

But why does the magic flow down?

It's how it gets on her of the gifts so she knows that she has gifts?

Mom why is Maleficent coming?

What is she mad about?

She's mad that she wasn't invited? Cuz they didn't invite her there?

Why does she want to bestow a gift on the child?

What is that stick she's using? What does she use that for?

They want the baby to stay alive!

But when Maleficent tells her to touch the spinning wheel she touches it. Then she falls down and goes to sleep but she doesn't wake up but the fairEs make everyone go to sleep but that doesn't work for her. 

But Prince Phillip kisses her when he follows the fairies...why is everyone watching the fire? Why do they want to see everything burn?

What did she just say?

What would make her happy?

She wants Maleficent to turn into something else so she wouldn't hurt the princess?

When did she ruin her nicest flowers?

She has an idea! The red fairy has an idea that they can do! They're gonna take the princess and hide so Maleficent won't see her.

Why are they watching the fairies?

Are they a little worried? Why are they a little worried?

Why are they worried their daughters gonna get hurt?

So that's why they're scared?

What is she mad about?

She's mad they couldn't find the baby?

Why could they not find the baby?

But they're looking for Sleepy Beauty?

They want to get her to prick her finger?

I think Maleficent turned into a little like circle green and that makes Aurora prick her finger.

They couldn't find the cottage where sleepy beauty is? Cuz it's too far away?

Why are they gonna do a party for her?

Are the gonna plan a party while she's going to pick berries?

Are they going to surprise her?

What is she using that for?

She's trying to make a dress but she doesn't know how? Why doesn't she know how?

Why don't they tell us about it?

Mom can I wait for a snack a little bit later?

Mom you forgot you were gonna take a shower.

Why are you not taking a shower?

Why does she think she'll be back before they get started?

They really want to hurry? Cuz they're worried that Aurora's gonna come back really fast? So that's why they want to hurry?

Where are they going?

But why is he running?

He wants to see who's singing?

But why is he gonna fall when the horse is too fast?

Why is he mad?

Why is he mad that he fell?

So that's why he doesn't want to give him carrots? Cuz he's really mad?

Has she haven't seen Prince Phillip?

Why are they making sad faces?

What kind of dream is it?

Well does the squirrel see some clothes?

So that's why the squirrel thinks the owl can wear it?

Why did they hear Phillip?

Why are they trying to hurry?

Are the shoes just walking?

The bunnies are walking in the shoes? So that's what's making them walk?

Why is Prince Phillip watching the princess? Cuz he was wondering where his clothes is?

So that's why he found the princess? What the?

Why did Prince Phillip do that?

Why is she trying walk away from him?

Cuz she doesn't know him?

Why doesn't she have any shoes on?

Why?

Sleeping Beauty doesn't wear shoes when she goes outside?

Why does she have to go back to the cottage?

Why are they falling on the broom? Cuz it's not cooked yet?

Why is she looking all around the chair?

She was looking for a place for the dirt but she used her magic wand?

Why are they making things move? Why does magic make things move?

Is she dancing with the broom?

What the...?

Why are they doing that to each other? Why are they trying to put colors on each other?

Why did the bird find the cottage? Cuz he saw the magic? Uh oh!

Now they're both mad!

She wants it pink.

Why are they hiding?

Why did they say surprise?

Why is she upset?

Because the fairies don't want her to see the boy? Cuz they don't know his name?

Are they feeling a little sad?

What are they singing with their cups?

It's like cheers?

Sometimes you hiccup.

Why is he moving his feet so weird?

He's drunk?! What's drunk?

Why are they mad at each other?

Why is he asleep?

I can't even continue. If you made it this far you're a trooper. I'm going to take the aforementioned shower.